I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
The air taste purple.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize