Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
