Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize