Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
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Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
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I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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