I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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