Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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