so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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