So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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