She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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