I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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