I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
