Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
