Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
