did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
