did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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