she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
