we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
