Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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