I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
