Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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