How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
