we have officially lost it.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
