Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I am available for nakedness
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
