just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
