even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
