There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Randomize