Do you still have your period?
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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