Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
