PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
