i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
