Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
