11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
