I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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