I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
