these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
