I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Well I just put wine in my tea
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
