Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just found puke in my bra..
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
So much rum. So many feels.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
