hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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