I didn't shave. On purpose
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
