I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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