i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
