Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm always down for nudity.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
