You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
