i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
