god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
