He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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