there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
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We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
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Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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