White coat. Heels.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
