I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
