I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
