I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just took my morning after pill in the library
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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