I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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