you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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