Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
