those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
