Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
