Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
