You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
