so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
