So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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