Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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