I love black thongs
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
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it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
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I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I think i got beer on your cat.
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