sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize