i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
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