Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
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Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
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Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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